How to Survive the Holiday Season Without Losing Your Fucking Mind

It’s tiiiiiiiiime!

(It’s not me, Mariah basically summoned us..)

Now, I’m not one of those people who put up the Christmas tree right after Halloween (6th of December. Every year. Like a normal human).

But even if the holidays are still a few weeks away, your nervous system is probably already bracing for impact.

Because for many people, the holiday season is…A LOT

Joy, nostalgia, stress, anxiety, disappointment, booze, shopping, family tension (sometimes all in the same day).

The so-called “cosy szn” is emotionally loaded for many people.

So before the boozy Christmas parties, the frantic last-minute shopping and the family reunions kick off, let’s come up with your holiday season gameplan.

Let’s start with the thing nobody wants to admit.

December is biologically harder than other months. The sun disappears at 4pm and your serotonin drops with it. Your circadian rhythm gets scrambled.

Everything feels heavier because it literally is heavier for your nervous system.

And then, right when your baseline capacity is lower, you’re supposed to be MORE. More social, more generous, more festive, more present.

So you push through.

You say yes to things you don’t have the bandwidth for. You spend money you’re not comfortable spending because saying no feels mean.

You drink more because everyone else is drinking and also because your family is exhausting and also because it’s festive, right? That’s what you’re supposed to do.

Here’s what that actually looks like in practice:

You wake up already a bit depleted because it’s dark and cold and your body would quite like to hibernate, thanks. But there’s a work Christmas party tonight, so you say yes even though you’d rather be in bed by 8pm.

You have one glass of champagne, then another, then you lose count because everyone’s drinking and it feels rude not to participate and honestly, it takes the edge off.

The next morning you feel like shit. Not just hungover, something heavier. So you tell yourself you’ll be good today, you’ll drink water and go to bed early. But then your mum calls asking about Christmas plans and suddenly you’re agreeing to host dinner even though you definitely don’t want to host dinner.

Now you’re mentally calculating how much that’s going to cost, which makes you feel guilty, which makes you feel like a terrible person because it’s Christmas and you should want to do this.

So you pour a glass of wine while you’re making dinner. Just one. Except it turns into three because you’re stressed about money and annoyed about Christmas and tired from last night.

See how that works?

It’s not five separate problems.

It’s one long chain reaction that starts with your biology being compromised and ends with you drinking wine alone in your kitchen on a Tuesday, wondering why you feel so shit when everyone else seems to be having a magical time.

Here’s the part where I’m supposed to give you solutions.

10 minutes of morning light. Set a budget. Take breaks from family. Protect your sleep. All true, all useful, all things you already know.

But knowing what to do and actually doing it are completely different things. Especially in December when you’re already running on fumes and every decision feels loaded with emotional significance.

The real issue isn’t that you don’t know you should get more sleep or spend less money. The real issue is that you’re trying to solve emotional problems with behavioural solutions.

You’re not really overspending on gifts. You’re trying to prove you’re generous enough, successful enough, that you care enough.

You’re not really having “just one more drink.” You’re trying to tolerate an interaction you don’t actually want to be in.

You’re not really “too busy” for a walk. You’re avoiding the feeling that comes up when you slow down enough to notice how you actually feel.

And January? January is when all of this catches up with you.

The credit card bill arrives. The hangover finally clears and you realise you feel worse than you did in November.

You’ve abandoned every single habit that keeps you functional because you told yourself you’d “start fresh” in the new year.

Starting fresh from a deficit is not the same as starting fresh from a place of maintenance. And you know this. You’ve done this enough times to know exactly how this plays out.

Ok Noemie, so what’s the actual gameplan?

I’m not going to tell you to make a budget or limit yourself to two drinks or set boundaries with your family. You know all of that already.

What I am going to tell you is this:

Every single choice you make in December is either maintaining your baseline or eroding it. And you can feel the difference if you pay attention.

Saying yes when you want to say no, that erodes it. Drinking when you’re using alcohol to cope rather than enjoy, that erodes it. Spending money to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, that erodes it. Staying at the party when you’re done, that erodes it.

You don’t need it to be perfect. You don’t need to opt out of everything. You just need to notice what’s actually happening instead of sleepwalking through the next few weeks telling yourself you’ll deal with it later.

The version of you that shows up in January is a direct result of how much you abandoned yourself in December.

Not how much fun you had. Not how many parties you went to. How much you stayed present for your own life even when it was uncomfortable.

The holidays don’t happen to you. You’re not a passive victim of December. You’re making choices every single day, and those choices matter.

So here’s the only question that actually matters:

What version of yourself do you want to be on January 1st?

Depleted, hungover, financially stressed, and full of regret?

Or reasonably intact, without a breakdown or a financial crisis or a shame spiral about how you treated yourself?

You get to decide.

But you have to decide now, not three drinks deep at a Christmas party or halfway through an argument with your sibling or while you’re panic-buying gifts on Amazon at midnight.

December is going to be a lot. Your biology doesn’t care about festivities. Your nervous system is already compromised. The pressure is real.

But you’re not powerless. You’re just depleted enough that you’ve convinced yourself you are.

The goal isn’t to have a perfect holiday season. The goal is to get through it without losing yourself completely in the process.

That’s it. That’s the gameplan ❤️

With love,
Noemie

🎧 This week's episode:

"How to Not Abandon Yourself This December"

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I write about designing your wellbeing with intention for a life you actually love. This is for the overachievers and growth-oriented humans who are done with guru BS, toxic wellness, and the cult of hustle. My mission? Translate science into soul.

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