​
​Toxic Wellness:
Unfollow, Unsubscribe, Unbothered

Listen to the full episode where I deep dive into the toxic wellness industry and how to break free from it.

Can we talk about toxic wellness for a sec?

I was ordering lunch at a busy spot in NYC a few months ago. It was one of those rare super warm days in March, so I was wearing jeans and a sleeveless top.

The lovely girl at the cashier started gushing.

"Oh my gaaaawd. You have an amazing figure. Is it from PILATES?!?!"

I laughed. WTF?! Nooooo!

Hey, nothing wrong with being a ‘Pilates Princess’ if that's your thing. But nope. I told her, "That's from lifting weights."

She looked surprised. Concerned, even.

Then she hit me with the usual, "Ohh, but I don't want to bulk up."

Classic.

I didn't have time to discuss the whole contradiction there, but it made me think.

Because in case you're not plugged into the trends, pilates IS the new fitness craze. A few years ago, it was yoga. Then, during the pandemic, in Singapore at least, it was spinning studios with dark lights, banging music, and instructors screaming at you to let it all out (some of my favourite moments of stress relief, to be honest).

There is ALWAYS a new trend.

And, if you spend even 10 minutes on the internet, chances are you will be reminded that this trend is the best. No, really this time!

That if you're not following it, you're doing fitness wrong, you're doing nutrition wrong, you're doing therapy wrong, YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WROOONG!

If only, only!, you bought that one magic programme or product, all your problems will go away. Pinky swear.

And we fall for it.

And to be clear, I'm not on my high horse here, immune from this. Far from it.

Over the years, I've tried all the diets. All the workout programs. Everything.

And then everything changed when I absolutely lost my fucking mind during COVID

I really had no choice but to focus on feeling good instead of looking good.

Turns out? There were no quick fixes. No hacks. No magic pill.

Instead?

• Therapy to get my head together.
• Giving up alcohol to get my shit together.
• Giving up smoking to get my glow back.
• Movement 5-6 days a week: cardio, strength, yoga, whatever feels good.
• Eating more/less balanced meals without obsessing over calories.

Nothing too sexy.

Simple. Not easy.

Before we continue, let me be clear: The pursuit of self-improvement is fabulous! We should all strive to be a version of ourselves that is a little better.

I've self-proclaimed myself a personal growth junkie. It's changed my life. I love it!

I'm finally happy in my body. My mind is (mostly) a nice place to be. I have more energy. I'm a better, kinder person.

But let's not kid ourselves. Wellness culture has a dark side.

It's this relentless pressure, especially on women, to chase an ever-elusive ideal of health, beauty, and success.

The perfect body. The perfect relationship. The perfect job. The perfect life.

Social media only amplifies it. I've felt that pressure on Instagram to always have my shit together, to "inspire" while secretly feeling like a mess.

In her book, Paula Freedman calls it toxic striving. That obsessive blend of workaholism, diet culture, beauty standards, and people-pleasing masquerading as self-improvement.

It starts off fun. You feel good. Hey, everyone's doing it!

But for perfectionists? For anyone with insecurities?

It can completely undermine your wellbeing.

Why does this matter?

Because the wellness industry is worth over $4.4 trillion (isn't that mental?!)

And so much of it is built on exploiting your insecurities, making your inner critic louder.

No wonder we're all burnt out!

And by the way, men aren't safe from this either. The standard of beauty has gone mad compared to what was considered muscular before.

Then there's the pressure from the so-called manosphere. Men are now expected to be ripped with perfect abs, optimised testosterone levels, following strict diets, cold plunging at 5am, and hustling their way to financial freedom.

The "alpha male" wellness culture sells them supplements for peak performance, biohacking gadgets, and the promise that if they just grind harder and optimise better, they'll finally be worthy.

It's the same toxic striving, just wrapped in different packaging.

We're sold the idea that if you just buy the right class, the right supplement, the right crystal, you'll finally be well.

But a lot of it is bullshit.

• Boutique fitness at $50 a pop
• "Clean eating" moralism that shames people about food
• Pseudo-science peddled on social media with detox teas, hormone-balancing powders, and crystal healing
• Insta-therapy that oversimplifies real mental health issues or pushes unproven treatments
• Goop-level nonsense promising miracle cures that do nothing
• Expensive supplements with zero evidence

And you know what? I get why people fall for it.

When mainstream medicine dismisses women's pain, when chronic conditions have no clear solutions, when doctors don't listen?

It's no wonder people turn to alternative cures.

And to be clear, I'm not an anti-science weirdo, on the contrary. It is well-researched that there is a lack of funding in women's health.

So there's an emotional driver here. Hope. Desperation.

But that's what makes it soooo dangerous.

Because at its worst, wellness culture makes you believe you're failing at self-care if you're not constantly improving, optimising, glowing.

It sells you not just health, but virtue.

It's not just about being well. It's about being seen as good, disciplined, productive, morally righteous.

The contradiction at the heart of many wellness pursuits? The promise of inner transformation is tangled up with outward vanity and societal beauty standards. Think of yoga studios that sell not just mindfulness but also weight loss, or meditation apps that also advertise skin-care routines.

Most people fail here because they buy the promise without questioning the premise.

They think the answer is another product, another plan.

Instead of asking: Who profits from my insecurity? Who told me I need to fix myself in the first place?

As one expert put it: "Wellness is the latest status symbol for the anxious, striving woman."

I explore all of this and more in this week's podcast episode, including how to spot the red flags and reclaim your power.

So here's what I want you to remember.

You are the expert on you.

Don't blindly follow trends, gurus, or whatever's hot on TikTok this week.

I'm just sharing what I'm learning and what worked for me on my journey to rebuild my life from the inside out.

But ultimately? You get to decide what matters to you. What aligns with your values. What actually feels good in your body and your mind.

We often blame ourselves for not measuring up, when in fact the deck is stacked by culture and industry. This isn't new, it's just the latest version of what the beauty industry has been doing for decades.

Here's what I want you to take away:

• Wellness should serve you, not enslave you
• Question any trend or product that promises a quick fix
• Be sceptical of anything that profits from making you feel inadequate
• Prioritise feeling good over looking good
• Invest in things that genuinely support your wellbeing: therapy, rest, movement you enjoy, nourishing food
• Trust yourself more than any influencer or brand
• Redefine wellness on your own terms

Because true wellbeing isn't about perfection.

It's about coming home to yourself.

With love,
Noemie x

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