It always starts with good intentions, doesn’t it?
A fresh Monday morning. A brand-new month.
You open your planner, crack your knuckles and think:
“Right. This is it. This is the week I get my sht together.”
You’re going to start running.
Eat more greens.
Cut the late-night scrolling.
Drink more water.
Meditate. Stretch. Sleep more. Stress less.
All of it.
You even make a plan.
Workouts scheduled.
Meals prepped.
New trainers by the door.
Your inner high-achiever is buzzing. “We’re really doing this.”
And maybe you do stick to it… for a few days.
A week, maybe. Two, if you’re lucky.
But then?
Life starts ‘life-ing’. You get busy. You forget. You’re tired.
The spark that felt like certainty last week suddenly fizzles out.
And you're left wondering what happened to all that motivation.
Worse, you start blaming yourself.
“Why do I have no discipline?”
“Why can’t I stay consistent?”
“Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”
But here’s the truth:
You don’t have a motivation problem.
You have a design problem.
Let’s talk about that.
Motivation is a Mood. Not a Strategy.
We’ve been sold this myth that successful people are just more motivated.
That if you “want it bad enough,” you’ll make it happen.
But motivation?
It’s not a character trait.
It’s a state. And a temporary one.
It’s that burst of energy you get when something’s new or shiny or Instagrammable.
It shows up in waves, and just as quickly, it disappears.
Think about the last time you were really motivated.
Maybe it was after watching a fitness reel, reading a self-help book, or hearing someone’s glow-up story.
You were fired up, ready to act.
But did that motivation last longer than your next stressful meeting or bad night of sleep?
Probably not.
And that’s not your fault. It’s just how brains work.
So the question isn’t, “How can I stay motivated?”
It’s “What do I do when motivation ghosts me?”
Enter: The Fogg Behaviour Model
Behavioural scientist BJ Fogg from Stanford University offers a smarter answer.
He says every behaviour, including your habits, happens when three things align at the same time:
- Motivation: Your desire to do the thing
- Ability: How easy or hard it is to do
- Prompt: Your reminder or trigger to act
This model explains everything from why we skip workouts to why we reach for snacks at 3pm.
Let’s break it down:
- You might be highly motivated to start yoga…
But if the studio is across town and it starts at 6AM? Your ability to follow through is low. So you won’t do it.
- You might have your vitamins lined up next to your coffee machine…
So even if you’re not super motivated, your ability is high and your prompt is obvious. So you do it.
Most people try to boost motivation when building new habits.
But motivation is unreliable.
The smarter strategy?
Make the habit so easy that you don’t need motivation.
If It’s Not Easy, It Won’t Last
Here’s a question I always ask my clients:
“Would you still do this habit if you had zero motivation… and only five minutes… on your worst day?”
Because that’s the real test.
Anyone can journal when they’re in a good mood and sipping matcha.
But what about when you're hungover, PMS-ing, stressed out, or fighting with your partner?
If your habit only works when life is perfect? It’s not a habit.
It’s a hope.
And hope is not a strategy
So instead of asking, “What’s the perfect routine?”
Ask, “What’s the minimum viable version of this habit?”
- One squat.
- One sip of water.
- One deep breath.
- One sentence in your journal.
- One spinach leaf on your plate.
Yes, it might feel silly.
But small is sustainable.
And repetition beats intensity every single time.
Emotion Builds Habits. Not Discipline
Here’s the other piece no one talks about:
Your brain doesn’t care how many times you do something.
It cares how it makes you feel.
If you drag yourself through a run and feel like a failure the whole time, your brain doesn’t reward that. It just remembers the stress.
But if you do something small and feel good about it?
That’s when your brain lights up and says, “Yes! Let’s do that again.”
That “yes” is powered by dopamine, your brain’s reward chemical.
This is why celebrating your tiny wins matters so much.
Yes, even if it feels awkward.
A little fist pump. A smile. A silent “nailed it.”
That emotional spark is what wires the habit into your brain.
So don’t wait to feel proud after hitting a 30-day streak.
Feel proud after one rep.
The Tiny Habits Formula (It’s Not Sexy, But It Works)
BJ Fogg’s method boils down to 3 letters: A-B-C
- Anchor – Choose a trigger (something you already do)
- Behaviour – Choose a tiny action
- Celebrate – Create a positive emotion
It looks like this:
- After I brush my teeth, I’ll do one push-up.
- After I pour my morning coffee, I’ll fill up my water bottle.
- After I close my laptop, I’ll write one sentence in my journal.
Not “work out for 45 minutes.”
Not “drink 3L of water.”
Not “write a novel.”
Just a tiny, anchored, feel-good action, that you can build on later.
Because guess what?
Tiny doesn’t mean you’ll only do one push-up.
But it gets you started.
And starting is the hardest part.
So If You’ve Been Struggling With Consistency…
It’s not because you’re lazy.
It’s not because you “lack discipline.”
It’s not because you need a new morning routine or a better planner.
It’s because your habits weren’t designed to survive your real life.
So this week, I want you to let go of the pressure to be “perfect.”
And just ask:
What’s the tiniest next step I could take, even on my messiest day?
Then anchor it.
Repeat it.
Celebrate it.
Let it be enough.
Because building trust with yourself isn’t about doing it all.
It’s about showing up, again and again, especially when it’s small, simple, and doable.
One Last Thing…
If this post hit home and you’re ready to start building habits that actually stick, I’ve got a free resource that’ll help.
It’s called the Habit Reset Kit, and it walks you through everything I just shared.
📥 You can grab it free right here
And if you want to dive deeper into the science and stories behind this article, I break it all down (with extra pep talks) in this week’s podcast episode:
🎧 EP 4 – Tiny Habits, Big Results is out now
You don’t need more motivation.
You need better design.
Let’s make it easy. And inevitable.
With Love,
Noemie x
🎧 Listen: Tiny Habits, BIG Results
📝 Download: The Habit Reset Kit
📸 Follow: @unwritten.coach
